today was my school's band concert
so I had to go
because I play the clarinet
and after we went to dairy queen
so
there were all these stupid preppy asshole girls there
and they were like "HAI PAT"
and I'm like "jesus christ i don't know you"
and I figured that they think I'm gay or something
and they wanna GO SHOPPIN' WIF ME
well it's fucking stupid.
so anyways
we were watching the news there
and there was some presidential thing that was gonna be on

and it had A COUNTDOWN CLOCK in the corner
but before that, on the news, there was this thing about a shootout
and they showed a sweater or something in the road
and someone was like
"IS THAT A NAKED BODY?"
and I'm like
"Yeah, it's a naked body. Someone just came out into the road and they were like 'IMMA STRIP IN THE STREET!!!!' and a guy came over and was like 'HEY SHADDDUP WHORE! *BANG!*'"
and then they show the suspect in cuffs and his hands were near his balls and someone said
"HEY! WHAT'S HE DOING WITH HIS HANDS NEAR THERE?!"
Then I went outside of the dairy queen and we were running around
and there were some windows where another group of semi-preppy quarter-assholes
and I ducked below them
and knocked on the window
and
I
RAN AWAY
and jumped away on these crates and it was badass
the end